I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
