Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
