Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
