Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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