i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
