We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
wow bdsm is so cute
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
