I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
