I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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