I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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