I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
