i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
