I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
