Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
