just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
