As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We had to coat check the pizza.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
