windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
