Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
