Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
