false alarm. still invincible.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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