on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
