i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
