you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
God, I missed his penis.
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