I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Apparently you make a good broom.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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