I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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