Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
