i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
