so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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