I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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