well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
