I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Panties = found
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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