Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
