Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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