just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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