i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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