can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
