dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
