My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think I died a long time ago.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
