At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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