all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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