it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
