I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
