I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
