My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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