"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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