white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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