why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
