dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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