I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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