you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
