Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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